Middle age for many individuals is a time for doing what they want. Unless they are a caretaker. If this happens, it’s likely everything they know will slowly change. A Place for Mom, a senior living referral agency, reports these statistics:
In 2015, they estimated 9.5 million caregivers in the USA.
In 2020, that increased to 43.5 million.
The average length of time providing care is 4.5 years.
61% of caregivers are women.
The average time spent per week is 23.7 hours unless the caregiver lives in the home. Then it is 37.4 hours per week. The daily average is 3.6 hours.
The average money spent by caregivers to provide extras is $7,242 annually or 26% of their income. 22% report using all their short-term savings and 12% all of their long-term savings.
Most caretakers provide care for free,
In the USA, 1 in 6 individuals is caring for a family member.
Most caregivers are over the age of 50.
There are resources available in all states, but often there are long waiting lists or the cost is prohibitive. Families have to be creative and make sacrifices. Individuals sometimes go without the care they need. Many caregivers are working full-time, taking care of grandchildren, or have health problems.
Caregiving is all-encompassing. It takes over the caregivers’ lives. Caregivers report feeling guilty, helpless, and like their lives are out of control.
Caregivers caring for someone with Alzheimer’s experience more burnout.
Typically, the care lasts 18 months to four years longer.
Often, it’s one spouse taking care of the other spouse.
18% of healthy spouses die before their partner.
Too often, the burden of care falls on one person.
Experts believe people over 65 with Alzheimer’s will double by 2050.
Experts estimate caregiving reduces life expectancy by five to seven years.
America is experiencing a Mental Health Crisis. One area that isn’t addressed enough is the mental stress experienced by caregivers. At 72 years old, I’m attending more funerals and painfully watching many of my friends struggle with chronic illness. I have four friends in their early 80s. Two are diagnosed with dementia and two with multiple chronic diseases. I’ve been spending as much time as possible with these families. It’s challenging because they are in three different states. I’m a counselor and a chaplain. I’m trained and called for this type of work. You may not be. With this blog, I hope to motivate you to think differently about caregiving and how you can help.
Thoughts and Recommendations
If you know a caregiver, reach out to them. A phone call, text, email, handwritten note, etc.
Let them know that you’re thinking about them, that you care, and ask how you can help.
If possible, offer to take the care receiver out. For a treat. A ride by their favorite places. To their church on Sunday. Most dislike being shut in and will welcome an outing. Do this while they are still aware. One of my friends has advanced to the non-communicative state. She no longer knows me.
Sometimes care receivers are dealing with end-of-life responsibilities. Some people have a hard time letting go and preparing for the last stage of their lives. Often, they fight with their children and caregivers. But can be receptive to working with a friend.
Most caregivers are taking care of an older person. But that’s not always the case. Sometimes it’s someone young. Regardless of age, it’s an enormous responsibility when you’re in charge of someone else. Seven years ago, I had an accident and could not drive for a year. I gratefully remember those individuals who provided transportation and helped me in other ways during that difficult time.
We all have unique gifts and strengths. Supporting a caregiver may not be yours. There may be other ways you can help. Like adding them to your prayer list. Or paying someone else to do what you can’t.
Don’t assume you have more time. You may not. Don’t assume the caretaker is fine. They aren’t.
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