Case #1. Adverse childhood experiences almost ruined her life. She was on complete disability when I started working with her, in her early thirties. She had a mild learning disorder, severe anxiety, sexual confusion, and a panic disorder. When I asked her mother why she did not confront the father when she knew that he was #abusing their daughter, her reply was that he was a deacon and would have lost his standing in the local community.
That was a pivotal moment in my life. She was not the first or the last #sexual abuse survivor that I worked with but she was the one who made the most impact on me. I determined that day that my mission would be to speak out for those unable to speak for themselves, especially #childhood sexual abuse. I'm a Substance Abuse Counselor and honestly, that is not my area of expertise. But most of the addicts and alcoholics I worked with alluded to some type of #sexual abuse while growing up. Case #1 didn't just hint at it, we had many sessions about what happened and how it affected her. She wanted to confront her father and we worked many months preparing her for this.
So much of our beauty and brokenness is tied to our family. The ways in which we act, react, and interact with others are directly tied to our childhood. Birth order and sex of the children can play a critical role. Should we go back to our childhood, #talk about unwanted sexual experiences, stir up painful memories, and upset our families? Everyone has a story, there may be similarities, but each is different. It's a complicated & difficult decision. My passion is to talk about the harmful, lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse. There's no one right answer or easy solution. But awareness is a start. For the victims, sharing their stories and working on relieving their pain can lead to a better life. Most experts believe that victims learn to live with their memories but they never go away completely.
My personal belief is that #exposing sexual abuse is a personal choice, regardless of when & how it occurs. Young children do not have the maturity to share the bad things that happen. If they do the adults often don't take it seriously, accuse them of lying, do not seek help, allow the situation to continue, and fail to see this as an opportunity to explore why this behavior is happening. Often the #abuser was abused as a child. They end up doing to others what they hated having done to them. #Not speaking out allows the abuse to continue.
#Experiencing child sexual abuse has many long-term impacts on a person's physical & mental health. Including but not limited to unplanned pregnancies, chronic health conditions, depression & PTSD, substance abuse, risk of suicide, inability to form loving relationships, high probability of sexually abusing others, a deep mistrust of others, and inability to build healthy relationships. My clients tell me that being sexually abused, especially as a young child, is the #deepest hurt they ever experienced.